How often... your Arse?

How often shall I love up your bottom world, my dear?
Once in a blue moon?  Or every moon?!

          Since time begun, people have been pontificating and debating how often you should f*ck your woman in the arse.    There's never been any consensus on this.   Some say every night, but I personally think that's way too much, and her ass will be so wrecked that it'll leak fecal matter everywhere she walks, the way the gay men do.   Some say never, but I say loving married couples ought to explore every nook and cranny and fetish, at least now or then.
   Some say anal sex should happen only once in a blue moon.   A blue moon is the 13th full moon of the year, and happens only once every two or three years, so her man is not getting it often.  But when Blue Moon happens, boy oh boy!, It's time for a night of some full moon banging, moon bashing of her rear lunar orbs.

    Many celebrate anal sex as a 'renewal of vows' ceremony, whereby couples renew their marital vows.   Because anal sex, if not frequent, is a bit painful and feels like a deflowering all over again.  After a period of disuse, the anal flower becomes tight and virgin again and can be proffered up to her man again.   Thus it is common in many lands for married couples to have a 'renewal of vows' candle lit ceremony every year, which centers around the anal re-deflowering.   And what better time to have that than on their anniversary?  The annual wedding anniversary night's anal fuck.   It keeps marriages enduring.  And endearing.
  The anal annual.  One to record in the annals.
     Indeed, even girls who hate anal have got to give it up for their man at least for their annual wedding vows renewal.   Then he'd tease her about it and say "well, did you like it?"
  "No!"
  "Did it hurt?"
  "Yeah,… a bit".
  " Well, I just had to have your ass. But don't worry, I'll leave it alone now…  Until next year!", And then slap her on the fanny.   
                              ~
    But if you're going to do it every year, why not also on his birthday?  After all, the poor chap's been eyeing your ass all year, so doesn't your man now deserve the 'birthday cake' of your ass?   That's the only birthday cake a real man desires. (Unless you have a fat glutton of a hubby who's forgotten about your ass and just wants a bigger cake slice in life.)
    And speaking of annual bun-popping parties, let's not forget New Year's eve!  What better way to wish the New Year in, than in the full moon of her ass?  His 'party favor' shoots off the real champagne in her!   The whole world is celebrating together, partying and singing loudly and getting drunk. Then after each couple stumbles home drunk late at night,.. whole world gets fucked in the ass, around 2 or 3:00 a.m.   it's the one thing that brings all humanity together.  You look at her big round ass proffered up to you drunk at 2:00 a.m., and you see the whole world in it.

    Of course, New Year's Eve isn't really on December 31st unless you're a damn Gregorian. If you ask Mother Nature, if you ask the Sun and the Moon, (or you ask any witch ), they will tell you that the true eve, the true shortest day of the year, is the winter solstice. Roughly December 21st or 22nd.   So you might want to celebrate this then, too. The more the merrier, so to speak.    In fact, the witches say that if you're going to celebrate the winter solstice, you should certainly do it for the summer solstice as well. And the spring and autumnal equinoxes. Make it a seasonal thing.  There's a time in a season for everything. Especially anal fucking. That's why the witches revere this.
    Of course, true witches do it every full moon. As a celebration to the moon goddess.  She hikes up her long witchy dress,  bends over and 'moons' her man. Then he jumps on her. On her ass. Because a woman's Moon bottom has a deep connection to the Moon goddess, and needs to get it in the ass at least once every full moon.  That's what the witches say, and I rather like that idea. I'll drink their weird witchy brews and concoctions, and let them put a spell on me, if I can fuck them in the ass. Those witches are hot!

      But there are some dudes and some gals who are so obsessed with anal that they want it every week.  They say, if your man's been working hard all week, bringing home the bacon, then come weekend, you gotta give him pumpkin pie. Let him plow your ass!
     But I got the warn you here, fellas. That's starting to be a bit much. Pumpkin pie is a dessert, and if you start to have it too much, it doesn't seem so special anymore. It loses its fiesta qualities.  She doesn't feel the pain anymore it's true, but it loses its tightness and snugness. She doesn't holler like she used to.   Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

   With Venecia being a true witch, the two of them  eventually settled into the witch's routine of anal sex every full moon.    Well, ok, sometimes he'd get in a good dig almost every week.  You can't ever say for sure when that dirty pecker of his will come up with an eye for something.   It varied with their moods and the spells she put on him.
    But as I said before, none of the sages could ever agree on what was the proper dose of frequency for rear routing.
—-----